THE TOILET PAPER CONSPIRACY

THE TOILET PAPER CONSPIRACY:

Before you read this, be sure that you have read my PAPER TOWELS blog, because everything in it also applies to toilet paper and vise versa. Only toilet paper has a few more snags to top it all off: The kicker here is that the folks who make the (so called) bargain priced toilet paper think that they have figured out a way to make the consumer think that he is getting a great buy in purchasing the multiple roll economy pack. The package must be deceptive in that it MUST appear that the consumer is getting more bang for his buck, without ever realizing that he is not. You see, they think that we are too stupid to ever catch on to their dirty little schemes of deception. They know that they must display (on the package) just how many sheets you are getting per roll, so that a shopper can compare packages of different brands to see which package offers the best deal. They really don’t want to deceive you by lying about the number of sheets you will get per roll (as if the consumer is really going to unroll a roll and count each and every individual sheet to find out). I don’t really know if they are lying or not because I have never actually counted the sheets on a roll but I can’t help wondering if this count includes the several useless sheets that are stuck together at the beginning of each roll and those which are stuck to the cardboard core at the center. They may be lying about the sheet count, I’m not really sure because I doubt that anyone ever really counted every sheet on a roll but they probably are. How can you give them the benefit of the doubt, when their efforts to screw us out of a few wipes is so very obvious. For example; I have noticed that they actually do make each sheet a little bit shorter so that they wont have to actually give you more PAPER per roll than they say they are giving you. They also make each sheet a few mils thinner in order to prevent us from actually getting more toilet paper, so you might ask; Wouldn’t that make the full roll diameter look smaller than it should? It surely would, so how do they get around this problem? That’s simple. They just make the center core that much bigger in diameter so that the consumer won’t notice. Then you might ask: Wouldn’t that add to the cost of making the core? The answer is yes, so in order to compensate for this, they just make the core just the same amount of paper shorter and nobody will ever notice. Wait a minute: since they are making the core a little bit smaller, why not cut each sheet to exactly the same length as the core, and that way they can screw us out of even more usable product. This is business! This is the American way! Always screw the guy that doesn’t have too much, the guy that works hard for the buck and is looking for a way to stretch the buck as far as it will go. Let’s face it guys, this is a lost cause. The ones with the big bucks have all of the power. We are at their mercy. To them, all that we are good for is to make them even more wealthy. To them, we are not much better than what the toilet paper was intended to wipe up. Well, I’m sick of it all. I say; give us longer sheets, wider sheets, more sheets, smaller and wider cores and reduce the prices on top of it all. Only then will I have something nice to say about all of this. Maybe the toilet paper Czar will make it all better.